When I breathe, I am sated
the air is sweet
When I see, I am humbled
the world is vibrant
When I eat, I am sustained
each meal is a banquet
When I listen, I am enthralled
always there is music
When I feel, I am excited
the texture is capricious
When I live this life with you
I am truly alive
all is full of love.
Tag Archives: Love
To Love Emptiness
There is nothing there
and it terrifies me
that emptiness
where a life should be
Moments I should cherish
in time perhaps forget
then be reminded again;
even those have been forfeit.
A place at the table set
where conversations would appear
about a life that keeps growing;
yet those meals are not here.
There is only the void
where you should be;
though you exist
it is now without me.
Gordian Knot
They say [no words could describe] the world beneath
spawning [this terror I feel] deep within me
corrupting [where the soul abides] into blaspheme
the dark heart [tearing through the walls] with savage teeth
rips through me [to find what’s inside] to excise it
let feral things see [and devour it all] before my eyes
consuming me [until all that is left] are my cries,
yet even that sound [is a hollow call] I can’t commit.
My remains are sent [out to the darkness] to retire
like a bat [searching for an echo] in the vacuum of space
if I could divine [some sound to harness] I’d leave this place
but all that’s left [in the loud silence] is my desire.
Outside [there is no response] I delve within
Where [the sound inside died] art was made
becoming a kiss [just past my lips] and falls on the heart
which once had thought [there’s no life outside] where it had been.
An Effigy (w/poet Riley Seidel)
I saw your hand
reach out from behind the cloth
a fragile thing
beguiled by shadow and pomp
though your face flush
the hand was molded plaster
disembodied
as if it had no master
but you it served,
of this I can be certain;
the gift it held
brought from behind those curtains
I gave to you
all those many years ago.
Why now return
that whittled ivory rhino?
I loved you then
that I am sure of my dear.
So romantic
but with you, it was austere.
In such patience
my dreams slipped from reality
contradicting
your love for hyperbole.
I filled myself
with the visions of your rhino
grandiose, yes
amongst my humble fallow.
Your confusion
Lends all hands towards your grief.
I must tell you
It is time for me to leave.
Music Box
Disjointed limbs
sprawled about in darkness
pressed hard against a sullen mirror
as if anything can be seen here
in darkness.
All potential lies beneath
locked away – boxed up – unseen
a forest of teeth
dormant
unfed
and waiting
in darkness
The outside is gilded rococo
feathered geometry
swimming like creamed coffee
the dissonance of naivety marbled
in darkness
Lift the lid
watch the darkness hide away
the limbs snap in place
the dancer takes the stage
the teeth gnash and grind
but it sounds like music in the air
We dance until exhausted
until those teeth need to be fed again
and you look down at the silence
only to see your own image reflected
in darkness.
Fall
The city stretches for miles
from this height it looks like a destination
not a place,
not a home
nothing out there is discernable
not in any real sense
you can make out landmarks
but not their feelings
not the nuances of being there.
The wind senses my fear
rises up in jest
pushing me toward the edge
my heart lies there too.
a battle on two fronts
I exchange my hat for a taste of victory
with the blurred streets below
drawn in vaguely violent impressionism.
I reach out over the edge
to warn it of the dangers down there,
but it ignores this
falling,
caught in a mad dance with the wind.
I say nothing,
but my head is cold.
Austin
I need no light to feel your shadow
surely in light it is well defined
but in darkness you are all around me;
I see you better than I see myself
Moments alone with you are savored;
only then can I truly disrobe
shed the skin that I wear throughout the day
and bring to bare the self kept at bay.
I want more for you than I can give
to provide a life fit to live
rather than a long list of tasks
we complete because we are living
to that end I offer my love
it’s ups and downs and subtle motions
the strange and twisting contortions
and the oft abstract expectations,
the unflinching courage to seek this life’s end
with you – my love, my inspiration, my best friend.
Anticipation
Wait
In shadows
the dark like water
Swimming
Against the current
a weight to the chest holding you
Down
Beneath the rot
where light is afraid to come
Out
Of sight and mind
patiently waiting for the moment
When
Will it end
or should I end it
myself
Trainspotting
It was so hard to love you
difficult – but no less true
not for our lack of trying
just crying and failed pursuits.
I adored what you should be
if you had ever been free
to choose us over the fight
for the right to always flee
You so loved being needed
until us tributes pleaded
for your need in return
a concern left unheeded
I sat for hours on the bank
a stowaway on the plank
hoping for your kind reprieve
left there to grieve as I sank
I imagined I could tell
that I knew your car so well
to identify the sound –
all I found were my dreams quelled
‘Twas never your car.
cold and alone with the stars
waiting for you to arrive
still alive – gathering scars
These days I’m a parent too
trying not to be like you –
I too feel the need to flee…
look at me – nothing is new.
Between the Hours We Wake
We should go out
tonight
more often
we are
like songbirds on a wire
alone
waiting for the migrations
in each
strange cloud that drifts past the
other
Grow Gray With Me 