Tag Archives: dying

Music

Waiting outside the record store
the music trapped inside escapes
               Something metal
               and unsettled
Hard music expressed as strange shapes
sound bent in ways not heard before

               I rest my head on the wall
               against the vibration
                              gentle quake
                              of heartache
               life in time dilation
               will make room for it all

                              That which I’ve lost
                              is still here now
                                             Pretense
                                             suspense
                              should time allow
                              the hidden cost

                                             Collapse
                                             Renounced
                                                            drowned
                                                            sound
                                             denounced
                                         perhaps

                                                            Sound
                                                            drowned

Unfinished

In my youth I found challenge everywhere
hidden in words with dynamic meanings
discovering what it’s like to be new
and make sense of the world I was born in.
I hid behind books and entertainment;
as if that would make me feel less alone.

Once put on stage I had to take great care
to decide on my intent and leanings
and pray to find success among so few
who had failed life and lost all but their skin.
I redefined my goals and attainment;
I moved my failures into the end-zone.

My divorce left me drowning in despair
nothing before had been so demeaning
my children’s vision of me torn askew
losing house, home, and all that I had been.
I traded it all for an arraignment;
she poisoned the term “father” on her own.

The days have since wore me down smooth and bare
given me time for order and cleaning
to find value in the years that ensue.