Tag Archives: Depression

A Chair Unburdened

Over me
          overwhelming
but from its end-
impartial.

Alone, we are so many things
between beginning and ending
together, we are absolute horror.

From my end;
down here,
almost close enough-
the bridge between us
is devastatingly indecisive.

From its end;
hanging there,
it remains stoic-
                  impartial.

The weight is all on me,
until at last it is not,
gifted above;
for we are nothing unburdened.

             If I can no longer be
                        the warm support
                  that allows the muscles to cool,
                the bones to settle;
I’ll at least be the platform on
which to stand.
            High enough to hang their troubles
      and let them swing,
                as they did decades ago in a box of sand-
                      impartial.

Though kicked away;
                      discarded,
          I am satisfied to resign
                      having served well
in my time.

Thick Gray Clouds Crying

Not for caution

              the rain

   like water toiling away
          at the bottom of a black pot

heavy with industry

             an entire era of invention
          crashing to the earth

          burning away the weeds
                with acid and ash

taking everything else with it

           while we dance and sing,

                         make love

until at last we drift away into sadness.
                        again.

               that rain…

                               even on sunny days

                  is always seeping deeper beneath the surface.

Today

This is not the day tomorrow will surely be
there is too much stress, anxiety, even guilt

over all the greatness yesterday should have been
had not the days before that been so difficult.

If I could, I would reject the bed, lift my head
march out the prison I’ve resigned so long to stay.

I’d eat as if there was an adventure waiting
prepare myself for anything that comes my way.

Should there be no courage in the day to challenge
I would fashion some reverence from the stale stone slate.

Days do not wait for good to happen upon them
we must carve it out and try to shape something great,

but this is not the day that tomorrow will be
already today has gotten the best of me.

Echoes

I don’t want to be stuck down here
the metal creaking
my form popping into something smaller
               and smaller
                              and smaller.

Without light sound is the last reflection
               I see myself
               I see myself
breaking,
                              like breaths fighting for relevance.

               I see myself
               less than I was when that sound was made
                              and diminishing quickly.

               I see myself
               and no one else
futile, trapped beneath the world.

Awkward Silence

Age is a home observed from a fixed perspective;
               as distance grows,
                              the place gets smaller
               more difficult to live in –
                              alien.

I have no choice but to be where I am now,
               find a way to live in that diminishing space.
that sounds like enough.

“enough” – a limit defined.

When the time comes to pursue that definition
               If anything is wrong
                              I’ll remember (my family)

These strangers with years between
               fly by night fair weather friends,
receipts with formal education
               could tell me anything but,
life insurance pays out five times my salary

So, I’ll ask
                              “How much will my life cost me?”
and we’ll laugh and laugh.

Sinking

The sea aches with the setting sun,
where immutable forces meet
something stirs.

Eyes catch but a glimpse
before the light is pulled beneath the waves;
the curled fingers of Poseidon
throttling the form.

Resigned to the demise below
the last hope of a tired dream
                                      dies,
as the dreamer did long ago.

Surprise Visit

You sneaky bastard.

I knew you were there
felt you behind my closed lids                                                 (always)
slinging your weight at the ends of my hair,
but I thought
                  with my eye on you
I’d catch you before you pounced.

Yet here I am,
reduced to fetal leavings
and you drooling over me
through a smile that stretches for hours.

All I want is endless darkness
a silent forever
to think

                    ‘it’s going to be alright’
but believe it.

Ouroboros

Woe to the cacophony
the soundscape that permeates
tearing through space like star shine
bludgeoning our ears bloody.
I offer my life as is
if it will give us quiet
allow the mind to slumber
the lungs to breathe easier
the eyes to rest in curtains.
The horrors beyond these lids
consume the light eagerly
ask for seconds knowingly;
there is nothing left to us.
Would that its hunger found me
and I be devoured too.
Please, nothing, take me with you;
all the peace I’ve ever known
lived only while I did not
and died as I left the womb.