Video

Earl Gray (Video)

This is part of a collection of poems accompanied by an AI generated illustration as a response to those poems. In the collection, “A Super Collider of Zigs and Zags” by Brendon Behlke, each poem was submitted as a prompt to an AI art generator and produced the artwork on display. To view them the way ancient peoples would have viewed them, you can order a copy of the entire collection, over 100 poems and art pieces, releasing on November 18th 2023 here: https://www.fontainehousepublishing.com/product-page/a-super-collider-of-zigs-and-zags-by-brendon-behlke

Sinking In

The mirror shattered to reveal a forest
aching for relevance in this reality;
whispering sounds of ancient purity
over the reflected light in the sink below,
collecting like lightning in a bottle.

I too was pooled there amongst those cutting edges;
echoing the world on stage before me.
Awaiting the curtains to drop and take a bow;
usher the lot of us out to the streets below,
where sirens still wailed incessant panic
and cars congested like dry autumn leaves
while pedestrians walk from a to b,
oblivious to the forest in 13 c.

Earl Grey

Where the clouds drop
and dip into the streets
they find mystery;

city blocks that disappear
as a tree felled against the river
carried away with it’s rage
dragged beneath the surface.

In slow drama
the world becomes a blank face
wholly unforgiving.

From within the current
we can only ask
“is this what always has been,

blinded by a sea of clouds
severed from the world?”

The city
through the fog can only reply
in a hurried whisper secreted away,

“All dreams die in the sun.”

Quote

The portrait of an Immaculate Martyrdom; Canto 2:2

1

Gears rotate and catch each other in time;
Each cog a wheel of teeth running frantic,
Free of all the constraints found in a line,
Then two embrace, colliding romantic!
Love making in modern machinery
Is much the same as mammals in the wild
Strict purpose against primal scenery
“Make the motions, produce another child."
They live each day as the last, courageous.
Well… No, that implies they know how it ends,
Or at least that a future day exists,
Yet nothing of their place when it begins.
In fact, what makes them both so effective,
Is the lack of a future perspective.

2

Such will be the fall of man: “Tomorrow!”
Always the next day dilutes the moment,
Woe to their end; woe to this cursed show,
Always their final days are filled with lament.
For now, there is but a cab cycling
through the traffic like a marked card shuffled,
Ace in the poker deck recycling,
I within; song of the city muffled.
Images flutter past the fogged-up glass.
The cab, a haven compared to my home,
Reality in plain view and contrast,
To the well-kept and furnished catacomb.
Seats discolored from an ancient era,
Each seam was sewn deep to hide chimera.

3

A dissipating frame of existence,
These bottomless canyons of mystery,
Overcome by their own acquiescence,
Cushions stained with genetic history.
Crumbs of sandwiches, scones, or little cakes,
All relaxed between finite planes of cloth.
The sight gives cause for my stomach to ache,
Yet there was at least some truth to this broth.
The driver hurls little spears of words,
He asks where it is I would like to go
[Endless answers] I stare out at the birds,
[Finite time] assuming that they may know.
Or maybe the children, their sweet visions
Corrupted by dark imaginations.

4

Do not all of us partake in the same,
Creating worlds from perturbed desires?
We play around with these notions of fame,
To pull us out from within stagnant mires.
Again, I am asked for a destination,
But I was still transfixed by spectacles,
Some observed, some absurd speculation;
Not yet fit for the dialectical.
I could think of no place to find solace,
No comfort in home or conversation,
No warmth amongst friends or place of hospice,
Again, I am asked for a destination,
He persists, so monomaniacal,
“Mere habit put me in his vehicle.”

5

I lean close to the window between us,
bracing my fingers against the glass pane,
and hoarsely whisper something treasonous,
“I have a home, yet only by its name.
I can see no good reason to go there,
Is there some other place you would take me?
Wherever it is I don’t really care,
As long as we drive, that’s my only plea.”
He concentrates on the road, yet responds,
Offended by my close proximity,
“Sir, I don’t do tours and I don’t sing songs,
But I can keep your anonymity.
Just tell me where to take this thing, and soon,
Else get out the cab, I’ll leave you marooned.”

6

I hadn’t yet unpacked the day’s events,
Not that he should know my circumstances,
Or my plague of thoughts that made little sense,
Yet here I was faced with his advances.
I smiled and relinquished the location,
In a lumbering form of stuttered speech.
He cracked a grin, awkward from his station,
Then released a grunt, and inhaled a screech.
He only moved the right side of his mouth.
I imagined the opposing side seized,
A flat slab unmoving from north to south
Due to some old parasite or disease.
But he only needed his right foot to drive,
While I still needed more time to revive.

7

The night was swelling now, street lights huddled,
In the sky like stars shining through thick clouds.
It is strange how the night life gets muddled,
The day walkers to their shrouds.
As one progresses from day into night,
The people change as if punching a clock.
Those thousands that run around in the light,
Never feel as dense as the evening stock.
Once the carriage reached its destination,
My home; or better yet my apartment,
[Home is where the heart is indiscretion]
My money sank into a compartment.
I waved like I knew him, perhaps I did,
And approached the address like a scared kid.

8

The door, another jailer but inversed,
Inviting me this time, and I pushed through,
Like the boundary of another world burst,
And past its opening was warmth imbued.
The decadent vestibule [aorta]
Capped with a rickety elevator.
I was fond of that one’s ancient aura,
Though the decades past saw it were greater.
I closed the gate behind me for safety.
I pressed the third-floor button and waited.
Its wire and motors whirring lazily,
A warm sound, industrial fires sated.
It tingled in my ears like years long past,
Reuniting me with myself at last.

9

The third floor only had one working light,
Just loud enough to seem sad and dying,
But tobacco stains don’t really get ‘bright’,
And the brown speckles were terrifying.
My housing was only a short distance,
Yet it could have been miles in the noise,
Televisions selling with insistence,
Phone conversations lacking tonal poise.
One apartment sounded like two people
Bound and yelling through socks in their mouths,
Some smothered screaming about sheeple,
John Wayne quietly conquering the south.
Each door a secret universe unknown,
Vibrant tapestries heard as muted tones.

10

Home was too familiar and foreboding,
Normally a place of refuge from work,
Now, a place of oppressive self-loathing.
Its finality greets me with a smirk.
The bond between work and home was fragile,
One serves the other to sustain purpose,
As if emotions could become tactile,
Parasites on one another’s surface.
With no work to go back to anymore,
The relationship becomes one sided,
A leech feeding off one who is blood poor,
And thus, our loyalties are divided.
Past the threshold to the hungry darkness,
I cast myself. No alms, no catharsis.

11

Inside, the dark remained immaculate,
I fondled the wall trying to make light,
Hoping in the act to emasculate
The receiving void before it could bite.
No decorative opportunities
Had ever challenged the structure of my home.
I treated it as its own entity,
Leaving no wounds for which I need atone.
Walls bare of abstract splashes of color,
A closet to hang my coat, by the door,
In the back, a bedroom, which was smaller,
The one mirror in the bathroom, no more.
The kitchen, gauged out of the living room,
left little space for furnishing the womb.

12

My stomach was chiming hunger in knots,
Reminding me the time since my last meal,
So I searched for food to stifle these thoughts,
None. This fridge is as empty as I feel.
When was the last time I bought groceries?
I thought, it must have been a while ago.
Since the gala, with all those coteries!
Longer since I have cleaned by the look though.
The bare shelves resembled my long-caged friend,
With rust and blooms of decay all over.
Though it was a mess I could soon amend,
I felt fatigue just over my shoulder.
I looked once more for hidden provisions,
At last closing the door with derision.

13

I contemplated sitting down to brood,
Feign some joy in this hostile living space,
but the same breath of thought had me subdued,
Hunger hitting my stomach like a mace.
I settled on seclusion in my bed,
Quietly, as not to disturb the peace,
My jacket made sure my closet was fed,
And I discarded my full body sheath.
Everything was in its place except me,
And the light outside had died long ago,
I greeted the bed as keel greats the sea,
Sleep set in like a breeze on summers glow.
A kiss that tore through this vague normality,
To embrace a world in dreams [reality].

House

If you were looking for a side street to get there, you’d be disappointed. It’s not like that anymore. It’s a ‘house’, not a ‘home’. The future has grown up around it, piling on top of it mounds of inspiration, newness and memories until it was forgotten beneath the accumulated past.

I’ve heard it said once the bright eyed and bushy tailed soldiers who first met with the innovations of war and machinegun fire found themselves piled up at the end of their conclusion. Hours; days maybe, of un-ending fire until they were stacked so high that they were no longer, “Roger” or “Bud” or “Kevin” or “That guy who always snored.” You’d forget their names and they’d slowly become “brick” and “brick” and “brick” and “That one brick that dreamed with his nose and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.” The house is like that. Too much time, tragedy and transition between anyone else and the house to remember it was ever a place to live.

So, they built around it I guess. I can only imagine the story surrounding that. So much of the city has been torn down and built back up again. Monuments, apartment complexes, family homes, you name it; all of them have been caught in the crossfire of the free market and consumerism. How this place dodged those heat seeking missiles is beyond me. I can only imagine the husk of that place was so long cold and dead, they couldn’t quite hit it and moved on to the warm bodies nearby.

It’s a wonder I saw it myself! Any other day I wouldn’t have noticed it. If it had taken me even a second longer to make out what it was, I would have already moved on, back to the meeting at hand. But it just ‘clicked,’ after a few moments. Ted had said something, you know Ted? Well he had said something during our call that triggered this whole moment where my mind disengaged and went somewhere else. I think it was something like, “It’s not like you ever go anywhere interesting on the Ferris Wheel, it’s all elevation and the marvel of how tiny we are in conjunction with how well we’ve compensated,” and I got lost on that train of thought looking out the south window into the unkempt grounds below.

As I moved from train car to train car in my mind attempting to unpack what he had said while looking down at this puzzle of vegetation, it snapped in place. I could see it! The house! Like focusing your eyes for the first time in the morning. It went away for a second, but sure enough I was able to click it back into place again, much easier this time. It was there, struggling beneath the waves of overgrowth around it. Below the briars and other hardy plants that couldn’t give two shits about the sun. I had to focus on the meeting of course, but I couldn’t hardly look away either. Each time I did I had to take a moment to find it again.

End of the day, I’m down on the bottom floor looking for a way into the interior grounds. Did you know there isn’t any? The whole south wall is concrete for the first two stories. And before you ask, I checked, it’s the same for the other buildings. The whole area is inaccessible. No wonder it looks like a tree hell down there.

Now I can’t stop looking at it though. That house. Makes you think doesn’t it? It has got to be a whole new flavor of darkness in there.