When I was
                       …this tall
the world was exciting
a cosmos of
                       wonder
                                     and potential

Not the void we know now.

At first,
           I knew nothing…
but then
                then I was adrift in everything

I wanted to BE
                                                   everything.

I could hardly function with all that was going on
        but I persisted

                  Experimenting

                            Reaching out and grabbing at…

Until somewhere out there
                              calling out to me through the possibilities
                                                 I heard a jarring word,

                                         “Don’t”

And I didn’t, because what did I know?
                                                      nothing.

And this was everything, right?
             So, when I heard don’t
                     I didn’t.
And the world got a little bit smaller
                         a little quieter
                             a little dimmer.

But I could see more clearly.

                  Here there were “dos”

        And over there were the “don’ts”

And between the two no roads shall meet.

When I was
                      …this tall

I was given a small page,
to jot it down
                        map it out
                                           define this space I found myself in,

There had become so many don’ts that the task became like working in negative space,
            snatching out the do’s from the soup of don’ts,
                  and now I had enough understanding to find them on my own

I thought anyway

                              Until I shared that page with others
                                                                proud of all the things I would do,
                                                   my ability to navigate the sea of don’ts

And was told, again, “no

                                Don’t”

                 When my do’s would not line up with their expectations,
                                 they became a whole new kind of don’ts.
                                                                                     shouldn’ts I called them.

                                                                    Irresponsible, you may have heard them called.
                                                                                     not productive.

And so the world became a little bit smaller
                                                    a little quieter
                                                        a little dimmer.

Now that I am
                          …this tall,

I have progress reports,
              project plans
                    financial projections,

          Ways of tracking do’s but
                                                 not ever truly acknowledging them,
                     a piling on of do’s into a stack I have no choice but to call
                                                                                 “will do’s”

I still hear that voice
                             calling out to me from that growing void:

“No,
        don’t,
                   not yet.”

But more and more it is starting to sound like my own,
                           indiscernible even.

            The world is small,
                                         quiet and dim,
                                                       adrift in the cosmos
                                  mostly empty space.