Sometimes it just falls down against  the ground and you can’t do anything to stop it. I’ve tried. Hundreds of times I’ve tried, but it just falls. Anymore I just look at it out of the corner of my eye. We all know I’m not going to catch it. After all this time I don’t even want to try anymore, but I don’t want it to be so obvious that I’ve given up so here we are.

The collision echos a sharp crack in the otherwise silent room. Everyone aligns their head with the point at which their eyes were already fixated, hoping no one else is the wiser. We look at each other as if dumb founded until one of us decides to go pick it up. Me, of course, I decide to go pick it up.

I gather myself off the floor like handfuls of cloth and saunter towards it. I have to use both hands now its been so long, “You really need to stop doing this you know. All of us have a place to go except you. If you keep falling they’ll eventually see you can’t support yourself, and none of us wants any of that guilt. Just-” I adjust it so that its wedged securely between the wall and the floor, “like this, don’t move. Don’t get upset, don’t get happy, don’t think about anything. Just stay here, upright.”

It listens for now, but just in case I continue to watch it out of the corner of my eye. So does everyone else.